Whose Wedding is it Anyway | Making Room for Mom

Trying to keep that happy feeling going with your Mom or soon to be Mother-in-law is no easy feat. It is possible but it will require some balance.


Photos by Lauren Fair Photography

Wedding Planning has it's way of making one go crazy. It is possible that you are drained from decision fatigue and having to answer Mom's never-ending questions could send you off the edge. On the flip side, it is possible that your mom is having a moment. Your wedding is a huge deal, not just for you, but for many of the family members that have watched you get to this day.


Photos by Bliss Culture Photography

Here is our guide to staying sane and making room for Mom. First, put yourself in your mother's shoes. You have to remember, when your mom is acting out of sort or getting on your nerves, that she is doing it out of love. Once I became a mom, I knew that I would do anything to see her happy. Your mom feels the same. She just wants your day to be perfect.


Photos by Joe Hodgeson Photography

If your mom seems extremely invested, give her something to do. I practice this with moms on my client's wedding day. I find something that they can handle and ask them for help. It almost immediately brighten's their day to assist in wedding planning details. You can assign something major like selecting the baker or something minor like selecting a signature drink. Just give her something to do that makes her feel included.


Photos by Barbara O Photography

Make her feel special by giving her extra love on your wedding day. You can do this with a special thank you during dinner, including her wedding photo in your decor or including her in your program. It should go with out saying that you can't just focus on your mom and do nothing for your mother-in-law. Keep her in the loop by including her in the planning process.


Photos by Andrew Morrell Photography

You can invite her to a dress fitting, organize a fun night with both moms, or help her plan the rehearsal dinner. If your mother-in-law gets overzealous, don't be afraid to set some limits. There has to be balance and boundaries to keep things on the up and up between you two. That way you don't end up offending her and she doesn't end up resenting you.





So remember, it may be your wedding day but there are other stakeholders invested in your happiness. Make mom happy by including her in the process and giving her something to do. And don't forget about mom-in-law. It is just as important to include her and consider her input. With a little effort, you can avoid any Mother of the Bride/Groom Drama.


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© 2019 by Andrea Davis